David Theiss

Browns defensive tackle Shaun Rogers who recently gained some notoriety for trying to take a loaded gun onto a plane, is getting some more positive attention these days for calling 911 on a drunk driver in the northeast Ohio area.

It’s worth a listen for no other reason than to listen to the locations that Rogers and the 911 operator throw out so you can sit and think, I know exactly where they’re at! Good job on Rogers part, too.  Maybe this is a sign of good things to come for the season.  Hopefully, this will sway the Comish to ease up on any potential suspension Rogers may be facing for the airport incident.

Here’s the link to the story.  The 911 audio by itself can be listened to here.

I’ve often found myself being able to predict world events or cool cultural happenings before they actually occur.  When these things come to pass, I invariably try to convince people that I knew that they were going to happen, but no one believes me.  So, the following will be me attempting to make some pretty bold and significant (okay, not really) predictions about things that will eventually happen, or perceptions that have not yet taken hold, but eventually will.  Whether or not I actually think these things will really happen myself isn’t important.  Think about them.  Do you agree?

5.) iPhones Aren’t Cool.

iPhones used to be cool, I know.  They used to be the new hot gadget that Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan just had to have. What about now?  The iPhone 3.0 (“3G S” is the official name, apparently) has just hit stores to pretty ho-hum buzz among all those who aren’t Mac fanboys.  The iPhone problem is this: while it’s cool now to have a touch-screen phone, it won’t be for long.  The trend among consumers is bending heavily toward data input: texting, Twittering, and Internet browsing.  Flat out, the iPhone does not do these things well.  Don’t argue with me about web browsing – great OS impossible typing, I have the Touch.  While there will always be power users who will pimp the apparent ease of the iPhone keyboard, the truth is that it’s just really difficult to maneuver.  This is why Blackberry’s have actually gotten more popular in comparison to the iPhone in recent months.  If you’re a serious person over the age of 16 who doesn’t want to be “cool” or “hip” or find where you parked your car with the flick of your index finger, you get a Blackberry.  You know it’s true.  Physical keyboard > Virtual keyboard.  Apple needs to implement a slide out keypad to stay relevant with people without tight black T-shirts and RayBan’s.  If you look hard enough, I’m sure there’s an app that will tell you that – only $3.99.

4.)  The Browns Will Be Better Than Expected.

Just watch.  There’s nothing else to say.  Mangini is a “coach.”  A real coach with real ideas and real football intellect.  Eventually I’ll write up a real preview to the season with predictions, but until then, expect better than 5 wins.

….for real.

3.) Transformers 2 Will Suck.

The first Transformers was really good, I’ll admit it.  It was so good, I think people forget its faults – which were many.  This wasn’t Citizen Kane, guys.  Nor was it Die Hard.  Expectations for so many were so low going in, no one could be anything else but surprised by how good it was.  Remember, Michael Bay is still the director – a guy that fails spectacularly when the pressure is on – I’ll only cite Pearl Harbor and Bad Boys II as immediate examples (The Island, too).  While most people who liked the first will most likely be happy with the second, more explosions, more robots, and more Megan Fox doesn’t necessarily equal a better movie.  Better story equals a better movie, which will eventually translate to more dollars – somebody let Jerry Bruckheimer in on that secret stat because early word shows that he probably doesn’t.

2.) The Republican Party Will Rise Again.

Okay, this isn’t such a stretch.  But, a recent Gallup poll showed the single largest group of Americans identified themselves as “conservatives.”  The Republican party is pathetic right now, we all see that.  Michael Steel is a buffoon and there are no leaders since John McCain is basically disqualified after such a decisive presidential loss.  I don’t know who is going to step up (or maybe I do?), but it has to be someone.  A message will have to resonate eventually, and when it does, the president will have some real work to do since he’s had no real opposition thus far.  Lower taxes and smaller government has a real audience and I think most people, regardless of party affiliation, like that message – it’s up to a real talented politician (not so fast – take one step back Sarah Palin) to step up and make that case effectively.  If they don’t, Democrats will enjoy another 60 year majority until we get another Ronald Reagan.  And even if you hate him, you have to admit, talents like his don’t come around too often.  If they can be effective though, that will lead me into my number one truth that isn’t true yet, which is…

1.) Barack Obama Will Be A One-Term President.

In the interest of full disclosure, I don’t think this is actually going to happen.  For that matter, I’m not entirely convinced the Republicans will find their way out of the wet paper bag they’re trapped in now, either.  I think there is no one out there with the clout or gravitas to challenge Obama in the next election.  But I need to be bold.  The health care debate is getting pretty cloudy and public support is fading faster than it did in 1993.  If the administration is handed a loss of that magnitude in the battle for a health care overhaul, all bets are off.  Immigration is off the table.  A new electricity grid is off the table.  Latitude on Iran, Iraq, and Afghanistan is off the table.  Obama has really spent a significant amount of political capital – we’re already beginning to see a push back in respect to amount of big issues he is trying to take on all at one time.  If anyone can do it, it’s him.  But if he fails, 2012 will be a circus – and don’t be surprised if the president finds himself in early retirement in Chicago when the dust settles.

Oh yeah, and the economy.

After media personalities (cough, cough…Tony Rizzo) insisted that the Cleveland Browns would not and could not take both Derek Anderson and Brady Quinn to training camp, that very scenario now seems to be all but a certainty.  Over the months since mysterious Browns owner Randy Lerner decided to show Romeo Crennel and Phil “F-You, Go Root For Buffalo” Savage the door, there have been a series of media leaks and insider-speculation that has made it appear that the new Eric Mangini lead regime seemed to be  pretty cool toward the prospect of Brady Quinn being the starting quarterback come the regular season.  Since the ’08 season ended, we were convinced that the Browns needed to go defense in the draft since they were so poor on that side of the ball for the past 20 years or so, and also because Mangini is a defensive-oriented coach.  In reality, they barely touched the defense – trading down in the first round what seemed like 17 times to pick a center, and then stocking up on wide receivers while passing up first-round talent linebackers in the later rounds.

So, one of two things must be true: either 1) the media and fans have absolutely no clue, or insight into what Eric Mangini and Co. are doing and thinking, or 2) Eric Mangini and Co. have no idea themselves what they are doing.

And while it remains to be seen which one is true, the huge question at the center of it all remains the quarterback.  Even more to the point, the question that the Browns, the fans, and the media are all asking – and that will have arguably the biggest impact on the teams’ upcoming season – is this: who is Brady Quinn?

Unfortunately, nobody knows.  He looked serviceable in his first appearance (albeit, on drive) two seasons ago against he 49′ers.  He then put together a nice game, and then a pretty ineffective game in the following season before breaking his finger.  In none of those appearances did he look like a world-beater – and nothing close to the dynamic passer we saw at Notre Dame.  He has been criticized for not throwing deep (or not being able to throw deep), which doesn’t make much sense to me as throwing deep was an area he excelled at in college.  We know he can command the huddle, and we know he can run an offence.  He is a born leader.  I frequently say that Brady isn’t a football player as much as he “IS” a quarterback.  To me, he was born to play the position.  He has the prototypical size and I believe he has a strong arm.  He has all the leadership qualities as well as all the intangibles that can make a good player great.

But to be a good player you have to play.  Hell, to be a bad player, you have to play.  And up to this point, Brady simply hasn’t played.  As of right now, he is in the middle of a quarterback competition with a guy that nobody wants even after a pro-bowl season.  Also, Quinn was passed up by basically everybody in the league in the first round before Cleveland shot back up to snag him.

Were all the public musings of Mangini’s indifference to Quinn a smokescreen?  Are they dead-set on him, making the open competition nothing but theater?  Did Randy Lerner make the decision for the coaches after the public reacted so negatively to the idea of trading Quinn?  The problem is these questions will probably never be answered because Eric Mangini subscribes to the philosophy that the least amount of information the fans and media have is the best amount.  The federal government leaks more than the facility in Berea (okay, that is a weak analogy).

For my money, Brady is the guy and always has been.  Give him 16 games.  Let him mature and weather the ups and downs of the NFL season.  This is the guy that’s going to lead your team in the future.  I know this for no other reason than because you have no other options.  The fans will riot and set fire to the streets the second Derek Anderson steps on the field.  For whatever reason, Anderson has become the most hated athlete in the city.  You know your playing days in Cleveland are over once the fans cheer your injury – just ask Tim Couch.

At some point Brady will be named the starter.  And when he lines up under center and sees the Minnesota Vikings defense across the field in that first regular season game, we’re going to get to see who Brady Quinn really is.

Then after the Browns go 2 and 14 because the team as a whole is absolutely horrid – we’ll really see who he is.

I  guess, if nothing else, we can look at it this way: what we do know is that Brady looks pretty damn good shirtless while riding a white horse.  And after that Cavs/Magic series, I guess that’s all we can hope for.