David Theiss

My official iPad response: “meh…”

This looks way better.  But in much the same way there are Apple fanboys/girls…well, I love everything Google.

This is just a mock-up showing how a touch screen version of chrome “could” work and isn’t a preview of any potential product.

Google just came out with their self-proclaimed “superphone,” the Nexus One (pictured right) earlier this month and the Internet is abuzz with – well, a lot of buzz.  Reviews have been generally positive, but there are a number of nagging hang-ups that many people have with the device.  As many know, the Nexus One is available through the Google website only, and is sold unlocked for a billion dollars or with a two year contract from T-Mobile for $180.

I love cell phones.  As soon as I buy one, the first thing I do is try to get out from under my current contract so I can buy a newer, sexier model.  A eagerly await the date on which I can use my upgrade and generally pine for a new device every second of every day.  With that being said, I’m always seemingly getting punked by my wireless carrier: Verizon.  They turned down the iPhone when it first came out because they wanted it to be compatible with the Verizon music store instead of iTunes.  They shut out wireless compatibility and free GPS connections on their handsets for the longest time (until they just recently started to rethink their position).  They have yet to release a BlackBerry with WiFi (CORRECTION: The Storm2 has WiFi – but still, not an actual BlackBerry) and they reportedly passed on being Nexus One’s launch carrier.

For me, these turn of events would normally give way to extreme depression.  But when the Nexus One was finally announced, it was revealed that it would be available for Verizon in the Spring 2010.  So, unless the iPhone comes to Verizon before then (which it won’t), my decision on my next phone is super easy.  But, if I’m going to drop $200 on a new phone, I want something in return.  The following are my requests for the Nexus One when it is released for Verizon:

• Give people the option of buying the device in a Verizon store.  Or, at the very least, have a handset in the store for people to play with.  As much as I’ve bought into the new Google Phone, I want to at least touch it before I buy it.  Call me old-fashioned.
• Enable multi-touch.  For me, this isn’t a big deal, but it is to a lot of people.  Apparently gaming isn’t worth anything until you get mult-touch; also, for whatever reason, people really like to pinch when they zoom web page.  Look, if I’m not going to buy an iPhone, I want to buy the phone that kills it.  If multi-touch makes the Nexus One a better competitor, they best put it in there – and stat.
• Allow upgrading for family plans and don’t force a set plan on people.  The T-Mobile version forces people to get a one-size-fits-all calling plan with data and a set number of minutes for $79.99.  Google also doesn’t allow people on family plans to get the upgrade pricing for the Nexus One.  So, the only way you can get it the phone for $180 is to be on a cell plan with only yourself and be willing to swallow the plan they give you.  This is stupid.  You’re Google, you’re supposed to be about being open and honest.  This wreaks of a decision Apple would make.  And yet, they didn’t do any of this with the iPhone.  Lame Google.  Super Lame.
• Improve the casing.  The gray casing is kind of bland and I think the engraving feature on the back of the phone is really stupid and is a half-baked attempt at personalization and making something on the phone seem unique and iconic.  I want a phone that is as nondescript as possible.  The more it looks like a shiny black brick when it’s powered down, the more I want it.  Also, fix the camera lens size  - it looks ridiculous.  Having the phone say “Google” on the back is all the branding and iconography you need.  Traditional or otherwise.  Plus, John C. Dvorak says its as slippery as a “wet bar of soap.”  Though, he did also say that that mouse was a stupid idea when it was first released…
• Solve the service issues.  As with any high profile device launch there are going to be horror stories about people who spend their entire life-savings only to get a device that doesn’t work and a company that doesn’t want to help them.  I don’t know what the issue is with the sporadic 3G connections, but fix it.  You’re Google, you don’t make mistakes like this.  Palm can.  RIM can.  Not you Google.  Especially when you haven’t built up the goodwill like the aforementioned companies in the cell phone industry.  Your first impression is a little shaky.  Also, it’d be in your best interest to get a call center together to support the device (the only way to get a service question answered from Google is via e-mail – WTF?).  Either that, or allow people in the Verizon infrastructure to service and troubleshoot the device.  A product with no support is one that everyone hates.

At the end of the day, I’m hoping the T-Mobile version is treated more like a soft-launch for the big Verizon party that’s coming in the spring.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m probably buying this phone either way the second I can.  But Google would be smart to take some of these complaints to heart – the iPhone 4G is right around the corner.

P.S. – Update the music player.

I’ve often found myself being able to predict world events or cool cultural happenings before they actually occur.  When these things come to pass, I invariably try to convince people that I knew that they were going to happen, but no one believes me.  So, the following will be me attempting to make some pretty bold and significant (okay, not really) predictions about things that will eventually happen, or perceptions that have not yet taken hold, but eventually will.  Whether or not I actually think these things will really happen myself isn’t important.  Think about them.  Do you agree?

5.) iPhones Aren’t Cool.

iPhones used to be cool, I know.  They used to be the new hot gadget that Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan just had to have. What about now?  The iPhone 3.0 (“3G S” is the official name, apparently) has just hit stores to pretty ho-hum buzz among all those who aren’t Mac fanboys.  The iPhone problem is this: while it’s cool now to have a touch-screen phone, it won’t be for long.  The trend among consumers is bending heavily toward data input: texting, Twittering, and Internet browsing.  Flat out, the iPhone does not do these things well.  Don’t argue with me about web browsing – great OS impossible typing, I have the Touch.  While there will always be power users who will pimp the apparent ease of the iPhone keyboard, the truth is that it’s just really difficult to maneuver.  This is why Blackberry’s have actually gotten more popular in comparison to the iPhone in recent months.  If you’re a serious person over the age of 16 who doesn’t want to be “cool” or “hip” or find where you parked your car with the flick of your index finger, you get a Blackberry.  You know it’s true.  Physical keyboard > Virtual keyboard.  Apple needs to implement a slide out keypad to stay relevant with people without tight black T-shirts and RayBan’s.  If you look hard enough, I’m sure there’s an app that will tell you that – only $3.99.

4.)  The Browns Will Be Better Than Expected.

Just watch.  There’s nothing else to say.  Mangini is a “coach.”  A real coach with real ideas and real football intellect.  Eventually I’ll write up a real preview to the season with predictions, but until then, expect better than 5 wins.

….for real.

3.) Transformers 2 Will Suck.

The first Transformers was really good, I’ll admit it.  It was so good, I think people forget its faults – which were many.  This wasn’t Citizen Kane, guys.  Nor was it Die Hard.  Expectations for so many were so low going in, no one could be anything else but surprised by how good it was.  Remember, Michael Bay is still the director – a guy that fails spectacularly when the pressure is on – I’ll only cite Pearl Harbor and Bad Boys II as immediate examples (The Island, too).  While most people who liked the first will most likely be happy with the second, more explosions, more robots, and more Megan Fox doesn’t necessarily equal a better movie.  Better story equals a better movie, which will eventually translate to more dollars – somebody let Jerry Bruckheimer in on that secret stat because early word shows that he probably doesn’t.

2.) The Republican Party Will Rise Again.

Okay, this isn’t such a stretch.  But, a recent Gallup poll showed the single largest group of Americans identified themselves as “conservatives.”  The Republican party is pathetic right now, we all see that.  Michael Steel is a buffoon and there are no leaders since John McCain is basically disqualified after such a decisive presidential loss.  I don’t know who is going to step up (or maybe I do?), but it has to be someone.  A message will have to resonate eventually, and when it does, the president will have some real work to do since he’s had no real opposition thus far.  Lower taxes and smaller government has a real audience and I think most people, regardless of party affiliation, like that message – it’s up to a real talented politician (not so fast – take one step back Sarah Palin) to step up and make that case effectively.  If they don’t, Democrats will enjoy another 60 year majority until we get another Ronald Reagan.  And even if you hate him, you have to admit, talents like his don’t come around too often.  If they can be effective though, that will lead me into my number one truth that isn’t true yet, which is…

1.) Barack Obama Will Be A One-Term President.

In the interest of full disclosure, I don’t think this is actually going to happen.  For that matter, I’m not entirely convinced the Republicans will find their way out of the wet paper bag they’re trapped in now, either.  I think there is no one out there with the clout or gravitas to challenge Obama in the next election.  But I need to be bold.  The health care debate is getting pretty cloudy and public support is fading faster than it did in 1993.  If the administration is handed a loss of that magnitude in the battle for a health care overhaul, all bets are off.  Immigration is off the table.  A new electricity grid is off the table.  Latitude on Iran, Iraq, and Afghanistan is off the table.  Obama has really spent a significant amount of political capital – we’re already beginning to see a push back in respect to amount of big issues he is trying to take on all at one time.  If anyone can do it, it’s him.  But if he fails, 2012 will be a circus – and don’t be surprised if the president finds himself in early retirement in Chicago when the dust settles.

Oh yeah, and the economy.