David Theiss

I don’t know what it is.

It goes against pretty much all of my most basic musical instincts.  I know she’s an empty pop act.  I know she’s capitalizing on the trend of the past few years that is making catchy songs about chicks being total skanks.  She rocks a lot of auto-tune.  And she’s incredibly good looking and in a perfect position to be the hottest thing going for the next year or so and then never be heard from again.  I know all this and I don’t care.

I came across her not by listening to the radio (even though I have heard her song “TiK ToK” played everywhere every three seconds) but because I got her mixed up with another girl, Uffie, who basically sings the same song.  Truth be told, I like the collabo Uffie does with Justice far better than anything that Ke$ha does (she has a dollar sign in her name, it’s ironic and I love it, shut up).  But there’s something undeniably sexy and irresistible about her and her music.  It may be because her best song contains one of my all-time favorite lyrics: “Don’t be a little bitch with your chit-chat/Just show me where your dick’s at.”

If you can’t turn off your brain and enjoy this, you take yourself far too seriously.