Ricky Gervais is a comic genius. If you haven’t seen “Ghost Town” you absolutely should run out and rent it. It’s really a tremendous movie and is a lot better than the crappy trailer shows it to be. The original UK version of The Office is pretty decent, too – basically, it’s consistently the funniest television series I’ve ever seen – ever.
Now, Gervais appearing in “The Invention of Lying,” and from the looks of the trailer, it’s another winner. He’s also assembled an incredible cast that includes two of my all-time favorite television personalities: Rob Lowe (The West Wing) and Tina Fey (Saturday Night Live, 30 Rock). I really need to see this in a packed theater so I can experience his hilarity along with a huge audience.
The only thing I’ll say to the negative about this, is that I hope he doesn’t continually get involved in movies where he somehow comes to possess some sort of strange and hilarious power (previously talking to ghosts, now being the only man aware of lying). I’m sure this will be hilarious, but I think he’s capable of doing a lot of different things – all of them great and hysterical.
Go see this when it comes out. You’ll be glad you did.
Starring: Shia LeBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel, Peter Cullen
Directed By: Michael Bay
FLASHBACK: Transformers (2007): My Grade: A-
Phew.
Everyone go ahead and breathe a big sigh of relief. ”Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” is nowhere near as bad as the reviews have led everyone to believe. But before I go on, let’s be clear: it’s not even close to as good and fun and joyful as the first Transformers. Also, the film can be, at times, pretty offensive. However, these complaints of racism and misogyny are pretty overblown. The twin “hip-hop” robots are inappropriate (and really not all that funny) to say the least, but to call the film patently racist is going a bit too far.
And with that being said, this entire movie can be summed up as an exercise in going too far. There’s too much everything in it: outrageous action, ridiculous comedy, decibels, lens flares, nonsensical exposition, and on and on and on. There’s really not a whole lot to say here. Revenge of the Fallen offers basically more of what we got in the first film. There’s a lot of over-the-top comedy between Sam and his parents, between Sam and John Turturro (don’t know what his name is), between Sam and the robots, and between the Robots themselves. And then there’s also a whole lot of fighting between the robots. And then there’s even more fighting between the robots. And then just when you thought there couldn’t possibly be any more fighting between the robots – the robots fight even more. All of these battles give us copious amounts of metal flying all about the screen, with as many spectacular explosions – and people running from them – as I’ve ever seen in a single film.
The pacing is much poorer than the previous installment. We don’t get any of the Spielbergian awe and wonder this time around nor do we get the great buildup and staging that made the first film so enjoyable. All the fights are pretty incredible (especially the battle between Prime and the three Decepticons in the forest), but they never aspire to be anything more than spectacle. There’s no sense of progress, strategy, or of who’s winning or losing – metal bodies fly through the air and after a few minutes someone gets a dagger through their ugly aluminum face – and that sequence of events basically plays out for 2 hours and 40 minutes. The humans are mere distractions, especially Megan Fox who gets very little to do after her star-turning appearance in the first.
There are little things all over the movie that I could complain about: the dogs in the beginning, Sam’s annoyingly high mother, the final battle sequence that goes on 10 minutes too long, and the finale to that same sequence which is pretty abrupt and anti-climactic. Even the CGI, at times, looks cartoony and apart from the surrounding environment. For the most part however, the SFX are pretty spectacular - and probably saved this movie from getting a lower rating for me all by themselves.
Oh, and there’s also metal alien beards and testicles.
But all and all, it’s really not that bad. It really isn’t. In fact, it’s pretty damn fun and it’s a decent summer blockbuster. You get exactly what you expect. Exactly. Just be sure to take some Aspirin with you to the multiplex, because at the end of the day, it’s basically a 3 hour migraine headache.
And when I say that, I’m honestly not complaining – okay, well maybe a little.
As most people know, former Cleveland Browns quarterback, and all-around Ohio legend, Bernie Kosar, just filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. He announced the decision on The Really Big Show on ESPN 850 WKNR Friday citing his divorce, some bad real estate deals, and his own charitable giving as the reasons for his financial troubles. In his usual carefree way, he laughed it off, and said he was working hard to right the ship.
With that being said, Bernie Kosar has become somewhat of a lovable punchline recently. His appearances covering the Browns’ preseason – with his slurred speech and restless body language – has led to rampant Internet speculation that Bernie may be an alcoholic or addicted to some kind of illegal substance. While that chatter is probably more fantasy than reality, Bernie unfortunately does have some serious problems.
All of that is laid of in the absolutely SPECTACULAR article on the situation by Dan Le Betard of the Miami Herald. I know Le Betard as the BAM! guy on ESPN’s Pardon the Inturruption, but I had never read an article of his. The piece he writes about Kosar is nothing short of heartbreaking and really paints Bernie as a tragic hero who fell victim to his own big heart. By the end, it feels like they took him right out of a Bruce Springsteen song.
If you have any affection for Bernie Kosar, the city of Cleveland, or the Brown’s at all, even a little – this is a MUST READ.
I’ve often found myself being able to predict world events or cool cultural happenings before they actually occur. When these things come to pass, I invariably try to convince people that I knew that they were going to happen, but no one believes me. So, the following will be me attempting to make some pretty bold and significant (okay, not really) predictions about things that will eventually happen, or perceptions that have not yet taken hold, but eventually will. Whether or not I actually think these things will really happen myself isn’t important. Think about them. Do you agree?
5.) iPhones Aren’t Cool.
iPhones used to be cool, I know. They used to be the new hot gadget that Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan just had to have. What about now? The iPhone 3.0 (“3G S” is the official name, apparently) has just hit stores to pretty ho-hum buzz among all those who aren’t Mac fanboys. The iPhone problem is this: while it’s cool now to have a touch-screen phone, it won’t be for long. The trend among consumers is bending heavily toward data input: texting, Twittering, and Internet browsing. Flat out, the iPhone does not do these things well. Don’t argue with me about web browsing – great OS impossible typing, I have the Touch. While there will always be power users who will pimp the apparent ease of the iPhone keyboard, the truth is that it’s just really difficult to maneuver. This is why Blackberry’s have actually gotten more popular in comparison to the iPhone in recent months. If you’re a serious person over the age of 16 who doesn’t want to be “cool” or “hip” or find where you parked your car with the flick of your index finger, you get a Blackberry. You know it’s true. Physical keyboard > Virtual keyboard. Apple needs to implement a slide out keypad to stay relevant with people without tight black T-shirts and RayBan’s. If you look hard enough, I’m sure there’s an app that will tell you that – only $3.99.
4.) The Browns Will Be Better Than Expected.
Just watch. There’s nothing else to say. Mangini is a “coach.” A real coach with real ideas and real football intellect. Eventually I’ll write up a real preview to the season with predictions, but until then, expect better than 5 wins.
….for real.
3.) Transformers 2 Will Suck.
The first Transformers was really good, I’ll admit it. It was so good, I think people forget its faults – which were many. This wasn’t Citizen Kane, guys. Nor was it Die Hard. Expectations for so many were so low going in, no one could be anything else but surprised by how good it was. Remember, Michael Bay is still the director – a guy that fails spectacularly when the pressure is on – I’ll only cite Pearl Harbor and Bad Boys II as immediate examples (The Island, too). While most people who liked the first will most likely be happy with the second, more explosions, more robots, and more Megan Fox doesn’t necessarily equal a better movie. Better story equals a better movie, which will eventually translate to more dollars – somebody let Jerry Bruckheimer in on that secret stat because early word shows that he probably doesn’t.
2.) The Republican Party Will Rise Again.
Okay, this isn’t such a stretch. But, a recent Gallup poll showed the single largest group of Americans identified themselves as “conservatives.” The Republican party is pathetic right now, we all see that. Michael Steel is a buffoon and there are no leaders since John McCain is basically disqualified after such a decisive presidential loss. I don’t know who is going to step up (or maybe I do?), but it has to be someone. A message will have to resonate eventually, and when it does, the president will have some real work to do since he’s had no real opposition thus far. Lower taxes and smaller government has a real audience and I think most people, regardless of party affiliation, like that message – it’s up to a real talented politician (not so fast – take one step back Sarah Palin) to step up and make that case effectively. If they don’t, Democrats will enjoy another 60 year majority until we get another Ronald Reagan. And even if you hate him, you have to admit, talents like his don’t come around too often. If they can be effective though, that will lead me into my number one truth that isn’t true yet, which is…
1.) Barack Obama Will Be A One-Term President.
In the interest of full disclosure, I don’t think this is actually going to happen. For that matter, I’m not entirely convinced the Republicans will find their way out of the wet paper bag they’re trapped in now, either. I think there is no one out there with the clout or gravitas to challenge Obama in the next election. But I need to be bold. The health care debate is getting pretty cloudy and public support is fading faster than it did in 1993. If the administration is handed a loss of that magnitude in the battle for a health care overhaul, all bets are off. Immigration is off the table. A new electricity grid is off the table. Latitude on Iran, Iraq, and Afghanistan is off the table. Obama has really spent a significant amount of political capital – we’re already beginning to see a push back in respect to amount of big issues he is trying to take on all at one time. If anyone can do it, it’s him. But if he fails, 2012 will be a circus – and don’t be surprised if the president finds himself in early retirement in Chicago when the dust settles.
Once thought to be ruthlessly cutthroat and Machiavellian in the pursuit of advancing her career, she is now strangely absent from the political stage amid some of the largest international crises we’ve seen in recent memory.
The Iranian people are rioting in the streets demanding a true and fair election, North Korea continues to defy the world by trying to reconstitute their nuclear program while their “Dear Leader” fades in health and attempts to pass power to his son, the Iraq troop withdrawal is underway, and we are starting a major reinvestment in the security of Afghanistan – to say nothing of the changing dynamics of our relationship with Israel and the hostility that surrounds that country.
During all of this, the nation’s top diplomat (other than the president) is almost nowhere to be found. Drudge ran a pretty low-blow picture today of Secretary Clinton looking into the distance at Obama giving a speech with the subtitle “What Could Have Been.” Also, she has apparently just enjoyed a dinner with eight of her living Secretary of State predecessors. Great.
While I’m sure she has made statements or given small press conferences, she should be standing behind the president when he addresses the Iran issue. She should be in the room making statements in the Oval Office with the president when news breaks. Her positions are important – not only as an advisor to the president, but to the American people. That’s what the Secretary of State does. Now, I may have a misguided view of what the position is supposed to be doing (images of Colin Powell wagging a glass vile in front of the U.N. like Dikembe Mutombo immediately comes to mind), but it seems like it should be Mrs. Clinton’s job to address at least some of these issues – especially the events in Iran – and in a high profile way. Even if we use a Swiss ambassador as opposed to direct communications with Iran, I would think there is something she could do to reassure he international community.
I think this is one more instance of a larger problem starting to permeate the administration: President Obama is not just a rock star, he thinks that he is a rock star (and likes it). It’s what those lampooned Britney Spears ads hinted at durnig the election. Whether that is truth or perception, we may never know. But, it’s either this apparent need of visibility and celebrity, or the calamity that was Secretary Geithner (also M.I.A.) in the first few months of his presidency that has made Obama gun shy on the prospect of letting his cabinet members take center stage on some of these major issues.
But Hillary Clinton isn’t Timothy Geithner. She is great in front of a crowd (I suppose that depends on your political persuasion), and is very capable of handling the press or giving a big speech. The reason you have Hillary Clinton as the Secretary of State (aside from preventing a Jimmy Carter/Ted Kennedy-type primary embarrassment) is because there is nobody more knowledgeable or capable for that particular position. There is no reason to have her there if you don’t use her. And I have a feeling she may not be very happy with her current role.
Note to the president: You don’t have to do everything yourself. More importantly, you don’t have to be the only Democrat on television. As I pointed out earlier this year, you are everywhere. It would do some good for you to post up in the Oval Office for a while and delegate some of the appearances with the media to your subordinates. That’s why they work for you. That’s why you have a cabinet.
That’s called an administration.
UPDATE: I saw Hillary on the news last night in a press conference commenting on the Iran elections, so obviously she read this. Also, she apparently broke her elbow yesterday. Way to get in there, champ.
Okay, okay, it’s really not. The West Wing, in my opinion, is the greatest television show of all time – by far. Big Brother is however, the greatest REALITY show of all time. I know that sounds like a pretty backhanded compliment – like the most talented American Idol contestant or the smartest Republican (aaaaww, snap!) – but it’s true.
Why do I think it’s the greatest reality show ever? The reason is simple: it’s pure competition. Most shows (i.e. Survivor and all the related derivatives) hinge on gimmicks and ridiculous environmental obstacles to provide drama and suspense – which invariably leaves the contestants, if not secondary, sharing or even fighting for the “starring roles.” The only reason reality TV is reality TV is because instead of actors, they use real, everyday people (supposedly).
Strip all those gimmicks and unecessary twists away (which, when I think about it, this show has those, too - but they’re not as bad!!) and you have the greatness that is Big Brother. Put 16 or so people in a house, force them to interact and live with each other, give one the power every week, and watch them fight amongst each other, form alliances, back-stab, and double-cross for the right to stay and keep “playing the game.” At the end, one will win $500,000, but when the last two house guests get there, it won’t be about the money, but instead about competition. While at first it sounds stupid and lame and a waste of time – I guarantee you, if you watch a complete season from start to finish, you will absolutely love it. And if anyone is predisposed to hate reality TV, it’s me. For some unexplainable reason, this show does it for me. It’s quite a strange experience.
If nothing else, the show has given us some of the hottest reality uber-babes in television history. Quickly, here are two of my all- time favs:
Jannelle (Janie) Pierzina from Big Brother 6
Jessica Hughbanks from Big Brother 8
The new season starts on July 9th and will surely bring us all the drama, intrigue, and quiet whispering in the HOH bedroom that makes Big Brother so amazing. I will say it again: AMAZING.
I sat down to write a light and funny post, I really did. I was thinking maybe something about Heidi and Spencer (has anyone else been watching I’m a Celebrity…Get Me Outta Here!?). But then I watched the news. After that happened, I wanted to write about the how ridiculous the news has gotten and how there isn’t really “news” anymore – there’s Bill O’Reilly and Keith Olbermann and Sean Hannity and Rachael Maddow. Opinion. But that’s boring and has been done to death. So, instead of writing about something that would be less boring than media analysis, I instead opted for something much, much more boring: namely, the Republican side of the 2012 presidential race.
At this point, the race is wide open. And it’s filled with all the usual Republican “stars:” Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich (still?) and Sarah Palin. Then, there are the second tier candidates that have the ambition, but may be lacking in star power or charisma – these types include Bobby Jindal, Tim Pawlenty, Charlie Crist, and Eric Cantor. Basically, the entire Republican Party will be running; hell, just check out the Wikipedia page.
Now, does anyone envision any of those names being able to beat Barack Obama come 2012? Mitt Romney!? Can you even begin to envision a President Gingrich (oh, God). Now admittedly, there is a lot of time for things to go wrong for the president before the race begins (and Democrats have turned screwing things up into an art form). But just in personal popularity (much different from political popularity) and sheer charisma, most if not all Republicans are at an immediate disadvantage against Barack Obama. Not to mention his best and strongest advantage: he’s the president and they’re not.
When in doubt and underdogs, Republicans always play to the lowest common denominator of American politics: pit “real, hard-working, plain-speakin’ Americans” against the “Washington Elites.” It worked twice for George W. Bush, and it’s the driving force behind the appeal of Sarah Palin. But Palin can’t get elected in a general election. She’s already too polarizing – garnering strong support from a quickly shrinking voting demographic while failing to capture a significant amount of women. So, what candidate can compete? What candidate can be plain spoken without being caricature, competent enough without seeming elitist, and experienced enough without being yesterday’s news (that yesterday’s news thing is about you, Newt)?
The answer: Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour. Most don’t know him now, but you will. What Barbour has, which no other Republican in the race can match, is appeal. He’s genial, funny, and relatable - he never comes across crass or harsh like so many Republicans do now since Rush has taken over. Barbour also possesses strong “Southern cred.” The Obama/Biden ticket was the first presidential ticket to be elected without a Southern male on it since Eisenhower defeated Adlai freaking Stevenson. This matters. Southerners never really accepted John McCain (for more than one reason) – there’s a reason politicians can sometimes be heard donning a fake southern accent when they campaign south of the Mason-Dixon. Obama tried to court these voters – I guess this was enough.
Adding to Barbour’s case is his strong conservative cred – that has gotten actual results. He took over a state budget in big trouble and balanced it in two years (due in part to drastic cuts in social programs) – tell me that argument won’t play today. He is also known for his fast and decisive action in dealing with Hurricane Katrina. An issue, I think, that could be useful in separating him from the Bush Legacy – because if you think for one second George W. Bush won’t be mentioned or brought up as a 2012 boogieman, think again. The economy’s not getting better any time soon. Barbour can also claim credit for passing some of the nation’s toughest anti-abortion legislation, which may be all he needs to consolidate a rabid national base. Something, again, John McCain lacked.
Lastly, he’s pragmatic. Having once been a lobbyist, Barbour has frequently worked with the opposition without compromising his principles (even if he has raised taxes in some instances) by calling frequently for special legislative sessions to hammer important bills through. He is so respected by some on the other side of the aisle, that Barbour even received some pretty key Democratic endorsements while running for re-election.
He’s not without criticism, however. I won’t go into that now because as everyone knows, any time a Republican does something questionable, it can be found covered in great detail pretty much anywhere on the Internet.
My point is simple: this guy has it. Sadly, he probably won’t get nominated – he may not even run. But just as many didn’t expect Barack Obama to get nominated, let alone elected, don’t be surprised if this guy comes out of nowhere. He’s not a rockstar, but if the republicans want to win they can’t try to out-rockstar Barack Obama – you have to out-folksie him. This guy can do it. If nothing else, he’ll be a player. If he ran, that would be one ENTERTAINING race.
But still, if I had to put money on it, Mitt Romney will probably be the nominee. Probably.
After media personalities (cough, cough…Tony Rizzo) insisted that the Cleveland Browns would not and could not take both Derek Anderson and Brady Quinn to training camp, that very scenario now seems to be all but a certainty. Over the months since mysterious Browns owner Randy Lerner decided to show Romeo Crennel and Phil “F-You, Go Root For Buffalo” Savage the door, there have been a series of media leaks and insider-speculation that has made it appear that the new Eric Mangini lead regime seemed to be pretty cool toward the prospect of Brady Quinn being the starting quarterback come the regular season. Since the ’08 season ended, we were convinced that the Browns needed to go defense in the draft since they were so poor on that side of the ball for the past 20 years or so, and also because Mangini is a defensive-oriented coach. In reality, they barely touched the defense – trading down in the first round what seemed like 17 times to pick a center, and then stocking up on wide receivers while passing up first-round talent linebackers in the later rounds.
So, one of two things must be true: either 1) the media and fans have absolutely no clue, or insight into what Eric Mangini and Co. are doing and thinking, or 2) Eric Mangini and Co. have no idea themselves what they are doing.
And while it remains to be seen which one is true, the huge question at the center of it all remains the quarterback. Even more to the point, the question that the Browns, the fans, and the media are all asking – and that will have arguably the biggest impact on the teams’ upcoming season – is this: who is Brady Quinn?
Unfortunately, nobody knows. He looked serviceable in his first appearance (albeit, on drive) two seasons ago against he 49′ers. He then put together a nice game, and then a pretty ineffective game in the following season before breaking his finger. In none of those appearances did he look like a world-beater – and nothing close to the dynamic passer we saw at Notre Dame. He has been criticized for not throwing deep (or not being able to throw deep), which doesn’t make much sense to me as throwing deep was an area he excelled at in college. We know he can command the huddle, and we know he can run an offence. He is a born leader. I frequently say that Brady isn’t a football player as much as he “IS” a quarterback. To me, he was born to play the position. He has the prototypical size and I believe he has a strong arm. He has all the leadership qualities as well as all the intangibles that can make a good player great.
But to be a good player you have to play. Hell, to be a bad player, you have to play. And up to this point, Brady simply hasn’t played. As of right now, he is in the middle of a quarterback competition with a guy that nobody wants even after a pro-bowl season. Also, Quinn was passed up by basically everybody in the league in the first round before Cleveland shot back up to snag him.
Were all the public musings of Mangini’s indifference to Quinn a smokescreen? Are they dead-set on him, making the open competition nothing but theater? Did Randy Lerner make the decision for the coaches after the public reacted so negatively to the idea of trading Quinn? The problem is these questions will probably never be answered because Eric Mangini subscribes to the philosophy that the least amount of information the fans and media have is the best amount. The federal government leaks more than the facility in Berea (okay, that is a weak analogy).
For my money, Brady is the guy and always has been. Give him 16 games. Let him mature and weather the ups and downs of the NFL season. This is the guy that’s going to lead your team in the future. I know this for no other reason than because you have no other options. The fans will riot and set fire to the streets the second Derek Anderson steps on the field. For whatever reason, Anderson has become the most hated athlete in the city. You know your playing days in Cleveland are over once the fans cheer your injury – just ask Tim Couch.
At some point Brady will be named the starter. And when he lines up under center and sees the Minnesota Vikings defense across the field in that first regular season game, we’re going to get to see who Brady Quinn really is.
Then after the Browns go 2 and 14 because the team as a whole is absolutely horrid – we’ll really see who he is.
I guess, if nothing else, we can look at it this way: what we do know is that Brady looks pretty damn good shirtless while riding a white horse. And after that Cavs/Magic series, I guess that’s all we can hope for.
