David Theiss

Browns defensive tackle Shaun Rogers who recently gained some notoriety for trying to take a loaded gun onto a plane, is getting some more positive attention these days for calling 911 on a drunk driver in the northeast Ohio area.

It’s worth a listen for no other reason than to listen to the locations that Rogers and the 911 operator throw out so you can sit and think, I know exactly where they’re at! Good job on Rogers part, too.  Maybe this is a sign of good things to come for the season.  Hopefully, this will sway the Comish to ease up on any potential suspension Rogers may be facing for the airport incident.

Here’s the link to the story.  The 911 audio by itself can be listened to here.

The “Summer of LeBron” is on and each team with any shred of hope of signing the King of Cleveland basketball has made their trek to the LRMR facility to make their plea.  Each team came in with their own angle to appeal to LeBron. It leaked earlier today that the New York Knicks played the money angle citing that LeBron could make $1 billion plus by signing with the Knicks.

The Cavs appealed to his heartstrings.  Home.  Below is part of the video that the Cavaliers organization showed LeBron during their pitch on Saturday morning and now appears on the Cavaliers homepage.  In a bizarre way, it’s a little emotional to watch.  Will it work?  We may find out sooner rather than later.

Just for the sake of clarity: the above picture is one of Tony Horton, not me. Just to clear that up.

In the days following the night of my engagement, I came to the horrifying realization that a wedding would inevitably be followed up by a honeymoon.  Honeymoons are typically spent in tropical environments, I’m told – with much of the time spent without a shirt.  It is during these times that your new wife/husband will want to take a few pictures so you can look back on these happy moments and see how much fun you had forever, and ever, and ever, and ever.  Which is exactly how long those pictures will last.

It was this thought, coupled with my bathroom mirror, that made me realize I needed to get in shape.

With the last meaningful exercise ending the second my feet hit the sand on my final long jump the week after I graduated high school, it would be accurate to say trying to be fit again was going to take a significant commitment.  I had tried going running, but the weather was cooling down and the prospect of running in sub 15 degree temperatures wasn’t appealing.  Appealing even less was the idea of paying $40 a month for a gym membership that would be used once a week at the most – and as I’m sure many people already know, spending money on a gym alone does not a good body make.

So, after waking up before 11 AM on the weekends, as I’ve been known to do recently, I stumbled upon a ridiculous infomercial for a series of workout DVD’s called P9ox.  While it seemed like being interested in the product was in and of itself getting scammed (infomercials just feel dirty), I eventually got interested enough to seek out the DVD’s (I got them for free – while I didn’t do this, rumor has it, they can be found at many local libraries – or on the Internet – that’s just what I’ve heard).  With my new fiance telling me she was really pumped to see me do my week of P7x and then quit, I committed myself to doing it, and low and behold, 90 days later I had done the entire “classic” workout.

Well, for the most part.

P90x is a six day-a-week workout schedule, coupled with an intense, comprehensive diet plan (which I didn’t even attempt to follow).  Various workouts target specific muscle groups.  Namely, core/abs, legs, biceps, triceps, chest, and back (with a little shoulder work sprinkled in).  The workouts are done at near break-neck speed and are comprised of a variety of moves.  But, just to clarify, I’ve provided a quick key to help you figure out how the workouts are done:

Chest workout = push-ups.  Back workout = pull-ups.  Arm workout = weighted curls/weighted “kickbacks.”  Leg workout = squats/jumps.  And abs, well…

Do this for 90 days and you’ll be ripped - or so the infomercials would have you believe.  So, 90 days later, am I ripped?  Quite honestly, the answer to that would be no.  But I have seen results of which I have never seen in my life.  I may be in the best shape of my life (I was in pretty good shape at various points in high school) and I feel as good as I ever have.  I have a little bit of abs where I’ve never had abs before – a little bit of muscle in my arms that I’ve never had before – muscle in my chest and back that I’ve never had before – and my legs feel as strong as they ever have.  The best part is, these results are done in your own home with the aid of virtually no equipment.  All you need is a pull-up bar ($30 at Target) and some dumbbells.  There’s really no other way to put it: while you may not see the results that you see on the infomercial, there’s really no way around it.  You will see significant results if you do the 90 day program.  You will lose weight, you will gain muscle.  There’s really no way not to.

The trick is sticking with it.  The workouts are hard.  They aren’t nearly impossible and if you’ve played any sport in your life you’ll find that there isn’t a workout that is any harder than your hardest basketball, football, or track practice.  For older folks who’ve haven’t worked out in 10+ years, I’d guess starting this program would be a little bit of a shock to your body – but it’s possible.  The video’s provide you with variations of each workout that allow people of different ability levels to modify so they aren’t expected to do plyometric push-ups in week 1.  Each day lends itself to a workout totaling about an hour.  As they say, “keep pushing play” and the rest will take care of itself.

I think what allowed me to keep going and really enjoy the workouts was the wit and wisdom of the lead trainer, Tony Horton.  First, the guy is yolked (as any fitness DVD personality would be – see above).  But in addition to that, he’s endlessly watchable, entertaining, and full of tips, tricks, and encouragement.  I’ve found from reading around the Internet that many find him incredibly annoying – I guess that’s why they let you mute his audio track.  But I love it.  All his stupid one-liners, all his accents, his douchey bragging and showing off – I love it all.  To see someone so excited and jacked to be fit and to be so committed to it, is honestly kind of inspiring.  It’s hokey, but it’s true.

The best recommendation I can give is this: after finishing my first 90 days, I’m genuinely excited to start again.  Since I didn’t take before-and-after pics, I guess I have an obligation to go through again to document my results.   But my first 90 results are undeniable and real – and anyone committed to do the program can do the same.  When I’m done with the second go-through (I’ll finish around the beginning of May) I’ll try to suppress my feelings of douchey-ness and post the pics.  Or maybe not.

Full Disclosure: I didn’t follow the diet plan or even try to.  I tried to eat better, but the dollar menu at Wendy’s can get the best of you sometimes.  I’m really hunkering down on my diet the second go-around.  We’ll see how that goes.  Also, one day of the week, the workout is a 90 minute yoga exercise.  It might have been my favorite workout.  Only problem is, I literally never did it.  The hour and a half time commitment is just too much, to say nothing of the fact that yoga is ridiculously hard.  I’ve already come to terms with the fact that I won’t allow myself to skip it when I do the program again – at least not all of it.

Also, I think it goes without saying, but there are a lot of bogus P90x reviews on the web, so for anyone that doesn’t know me or who I am: I AM NOT A BEACHBODY COACH.

Check back in 90 or so days and I’ll let you know how it all went.  But if you’re even kind of interested in the program, you should absolutely try it.

The Browns are half-way through the preseason and the team is just as much a mystery as they were a month ago.   The quarterback situation is as murky as ever, the defense looks inconsistent at best, and the team is surprisingly sloppy and penalty prone in the brief instances we’ve seen this year’s group. Aside from those few observations, here are my thoughts on the 2009 Cleveland Browns:

• Derek Anderson looks exactly like Derek Anderson.  He plays well against poor teams (see: the Detroit Lions) and looks like complete garbage against moderate to good teams (see: The Green Bay Packers).  I’ve decided that the only way DA can flourish is with an absolute stud offensive line.  Most of the bad decisions he makes start with the deterioration of the pocket.  Maybe the presence of Ryan Tucker in 2007 and his absence in 2008 had more to do with the success of Derek Anderson than anyone thought.  DA needs more poise in the pocket – or learn to step up and let the rush pass him by, set his feet, and make a good throw.
• Brady Quinn hasn’t looked great either – but he has been more consistent.  It appears his leadership and huddle presence is better than Anderson, but who really knows if that’s true?  The knock against Brady prior to this season was that he couldn’t throw the deep ball – while he hasn’t exactly proven that to be false, he has shown a willingness to throw a deeper ball and more accuracy with the 20 to 25 yard pass in the first two games.
• Kamerion Wimbley is nowhere to be seen.  He briefly showed some power off the edge in the Green Bay game, but since then he has been virtually silent.  If he doesn’t break out this year he may be in danger of being cut.  Up to this point, Kamerion has been a huge disappointment.
• Safety Abe Elam has also been off to a slow start.  After he was hand picked by Eric Mangini (having failed to sign him as a restricted free agent – he was acquired through a draft-day trade), he was badly beaten for the Packers first TD and was flagged for a drive killing penalty on Saturday night.  While the secondary still needs time to gel (Eric Wright has looked solid thus far), more is expected of Elam than what we’ve seen thus far.
• Josh Cribbs needs a new contract.  I would normally fall under the category of people who believe players should honor their current deals – but Cribbs is killing it (as usual) on kick and punt returns and seems to be progressing faster than expected at wide receiver.  He should be the starting #2 receiver opposite Braylon Edwards (who looks completely disinterested, once again) on opening day.
• Finally, the running game is basically M.I.A. other than James Davis’s big run in the GLC.  Jamal Lewis needs to have a 1,200 + yard season for the Browns to even have a chance at sniffing 7 – 9 or 8 – 8.

All and all, the Browns aren’t as as bad as they looked in Green Bay and aren’t as good as they looked in Detroit.  My formal prediction will come after the final preseason game and once the starting quarterback is named.  But I will say that I think the Browns will be better than most people expect (as I’ve said before).  But after an off-season where I’ve been as disinterested in the Browns as I’ve ever been, I think I’m officially back on the bandwagon.

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As a closing thought, Katie keeps complaining that I never talk about her in any of my posts.  Well, here’s a shout-out to you, Katie – and a really rad picture.

I’ve been gone for a long time.  And it’s not because I’m lazy or because I forgot about the site, it’s just because I haven’t felt all that strongly about anything as of late that warranted a half an hour to sit and write.  There’s not a whole lot going on that I can see, but there are a few quick thoughts that should at least hold me (and presumably the seven people that read this) over until my next go-around at whatever hot button tickles my fancy.  Here are some quick thoughts:

• The Cleveland Browns: I went to the Brown and White Scrimmage on Sunday (August 9th) to check out the new look team.  Some things I took away from the practice: 1.) Both quarterbacks – Brady and DA – looked below average, but with the 51 yard TD pass on his first play, Brady has the early advantage, 2.) the WR Mohamed Massaquoi looks like a stud, and 3.) Braylon Edwards, it seems, has no desire to even try – he caught one ball and rode the bike.  It also looked like he was jawing at Derek Anderson after he neglected to throw him the ball on every play – stay tuned.
• Politics: The far right fringe is dominating and winning the health care debate.  They’ve successfully made the Obama Health Care Plan (even though there isn’t one yet) look like the devil incarnate.  Death Panels, “communal standards,” care rationing, the elimination of Medicare and Medicaid, and euthanasia – none of which are in any bill in any committee in either house of Congress.  The Republicans that Big Pharma and the insurance companies bought during the 90′s and the Bush Administration are going all in to destroy Health Care Reform – and right now, they’re succeeding.
• Music: Miley Cyrus’s new song “Party in the USA” rocks hard.  I don’t like her or the type of music she makes, but it’s one of those surprise songs that kind of hits you – kind of like everything Kelly Clarkson has ever released.  Love it.  Listen.
• Music: I saw The Low Anthem in concert last Wednesday (August 5th) and really liked it.  I was disappointed they didn’t play any of their more raucous songs (“The Horizon is a Beltway,” or “Home I’ll Never Be”) but it was still a really enjoyable time – even if the crowd was a tad on the rude side.  Plus, hearing “To Ohio” played in Ohio for the first time ever was pretty memorable, too.
• Music: Eminem is back at Mariah Carey with his new diss track “The Warning.”  It’s juvinile and stupid – and really, really awesome and hilarious.
• Movies: I haven’t seen any.  I used to love movies and going to see them, but the stuff that’s being put out recently hasn’t gotten me up and to the theaters.  Even movies I really looked forward to like “Bruno” and “Whatever Works” couldn’t get me to the theater.  Note to self: make a more concerted effort to get to the movies in the near future.  I do want to see “The Time Traveler’s Wife,” but I’d say the chances are pretty slim of that happening.
• Television: Big Brother, while it’s not an all time great season like Season 6, it’s still more than excellent.  For some strange reason I find myself really rooting for Jessie – and kind of Jeff – but Jessie mostly.  He’s been the most thoughtful player throughout, ironically.
• Video Games: All of my thoughts about video games will be dated by about two years since I’ve only had my Xbox for about 6 months and I’m catching up on all the must play titles I’ve missed.  But I just finished Half Life 2, which I liked a lot (much more than BioShock) even though it was super, super easy.  It’s now time to pivot toward Mass Effect and maybe Madden 10 – I love my Xbox to death.
• Food: Katie and I went to the restaurant Fahrenheit in Tremont for our anniversary (our 8th) and we both really liked it.  I got the Halibut and she got Cheese Ravioli.  It was a little bit pricier than our last Tremont restaurant experience ($62 in total with no drinks and an appetizer), but it was well worth it and very, very good even thouh there were literally 2 other people in the entire place with us – I guess Monday night isn’t a cool night to go out.

That’s all I can muster right now.  Hopefully, something will happen that will warrant a full post in the near future.

As most people know, former Cleveland Browns quarterback, and all-around Ohio legend, Bernie Kosar, just filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection.  He announced the decision on The Really Big Show on ESPN 850 WKNR Friday citing his divorce, some bad real estate deals, and his own charitable giving as the reasons for his financial troubles.  In his usual carefree way, he laughed it off, and said he was working hard to right the ship.

With that being said, Bernie Kosar has become somewhat of a lovable punchline recently.  His appearances covering the Browns’ preseason – with his slurred speech and restless body language –  has led to rampant Internet speculation that Bernie may be an alcoholic or addicted to some kind of illegal substance.  While that chatter is probably more fantasy than reality, Bernie unfortunately does have some serious problems.

All of that is laid of in the absolutely SPECTACULAR article on the situation by Dan Le Betard of the Miami Herald.  I know Le Betard as the BAM! guy on ESPN’s Pardon the Inturruption, but I had never read an article of his.  The piece he writes about Kosar is nothing short of heartbreaking and really paints Bernie as a tragic hero who fell victim to his own big heart.  By the end, it feels like they took him right out of a Bruce Springsteen song.

If you have any affection for Bernie Kosar, the city of Cleveland, or the Brown’s at all, even a little – this is a MUST READ.

Check out the article here.

I’ve often found myself being able to predict world events or cool cultural happenings before they actually occur.  When these things come to pass, I invariably try to convince people that I knew that they were going to happen, but no one believes me.  So, the following will be me attempting to make some pretty bold and significant (okay, not really) predictions about things that will eventually happen, or perceptions that have not yet taken hold, but eventually will.  Whether or not I actually think these things will really happen myself isn’t important.  Think about them.  Do you agree?

5.) iPhones Aren’t Cool.

iPhones used to be cool, I know.  They used to be the new hot gadget that Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan just had to have. What about now?  The iPhone 3.0 (“3G S” is the official name, apparently) has just hit stores to pretty ho-hum buzz among all those who aren’t Mac fanboys.  The iPhone problem is this: while it’s cool now to have a touch-screen phone, it won’t be for long.  The trend among consumers is bending heavily toward data input: texting, Twittering, and Internet browsing.  Flat out, the iPhone does not do these things well.  Don’t argue with me about web browsing – great OS impossible typing, I have the Touch.  While there will always be power users who will pimp the apparent ease of the iPhone keyboard, the truth is that it’s just really difficult to maneuver.  This is why Blackberry’s have actually gotten more popular in comparison to the iPhone in recent months.  If you’re a serious person over the age of 16 who doesn’t want to be “cool” or “hip” or find where you parked your car with the flick of your index finger, you get a Blackberry.  You know it’s true.  Physical keyboard > Virtual keyboard.  Apple needs to implement a slide out keypad to stay relevant with people without tight black T-shirts and RayBan’s.  If you look hard enough, I’m sure there’s an app that will tell you that – only $3.99.

4.)  The Browns Will Be Better Than Expected.

Just watch.  There’s nothing else to say.  Mangini is a “coach.”  A real coach with real ideas and real football intellect.  Eventually I’ll write up a real preview to the season with predictions, but until then, expect better than 5 wins.

….for real.

3.) Transformers 2 Will Suck.

The first Transformers was really good, I’ll admit it.  It was so good, I think people forget its faults – which were many.  This wasn’t Citizen Kane, guys.  Nor was it Die Hard.  Expectations for so many were so low going in, no one could be anything else but surprised by how good it was.  Remember, Michael Bay is still the director – a guy that fails spectacularly when the pressure is on – I’ll only cite Pearl Harbor and Bad Boys II as immediate examples (The Island, too).  While most people who liked the first will most likely be happy with the second, more explosions, more robots, and more Megan Fox doesn’t necessarily equal a better movie.  Better story equals a better movie, which will eventually translate to more dollars – somebody let Jerry Bruckheimer in on that secret stat because early word shows that he probably doesn’t.

2.) The Republican Party Will Rise Again.

Okay, this isn’t such a stretch.  But, a recent Gallup poll showed the single largest group of Americans identified themselves as “conservatives.”  The Republican party is pathetic right now, we all see that.  Michael Steel is a buffoon and there are no leaders since John McCain is basically disqualified after such a decisive presidential loss.  I don’t know who is going to step up (or maybe I do?), but it has to be someone.  A message will have to resonate eventually, and when it does, the president will have some real work to do since he’s had no real opposition thus far.  Lower taxes and smaller government has a real audience and I think most people, regardless of party affiliation, like that message – it’s up to a real talented politician (not so fast – take one step back Sarah Palin) to step up and make that case effectively.  If they don’t, Democrats will enjoy another 60 year majority until we get another Ronald Reagan.  And even if you hate him, you have to admit, talents like his don’t come around too often.  If they can be effective though, that will lead me into my number one truth that isn’t true yet, which is…

1.) Barack Obama Will Be A One-Term President.

In the interest of full disclosure, I don’t think this is actually going to happen.  For that matter, I’m not entirely convinced the Republicans will find their way out of the wet paper bag they’re trapped in now, either.  I think there is no one out there with the clout or gravitas to challenge Obama in the next election.  But I need to be bold.  The health care debate is getting pretty cloudy and public support is fading faster than it did in 1993.  If the administration is handed a loss of that magnitude in the battle for a health care overhaul, all bets are off.  Immigration is off the table.  A new electricity grid is off the table.  Latitude on Iran, Iraq, and Afghanistan is off the table.  Obama has really spent a significant amount of political capital – we’re already beginning to see a push back in respect to amount of big issues he is trying to take on all at one time.  If anyone can do it, it’s him.  But if he fails, 2012 will be a circus – and don’t be surprised if the president finds himself in early retirement in Chicago when the dust settles.

Oh yeah, and the economy.

After media personalities (cough, cough…Tony Rizzo) insisted that the Cleveland Browns would not and could not take both Derek Anderson and Brady Quinn to training camp, that very scenario now seems to be all but a certainty.  Over the months since mysterious Browns owner Randy Lerner decided to show Romeo Crennel and Phil “F-You, Go Root For Buffalo” Savage the door, there have been a series of media leaks and insider-speculation that has made it appear that the new Eric Mangini lead regime seemed to be  pretty cool toward the prospect of Brady Quinn being the starting quarterback come the regular season.  Since the ’08 season ended, we were convinced that the Browns needed to go defense in the draft since they were so poor on that side of the ball for the past 20 years or so, and also because Mangini is a defensive-oriented coach.  In reality, they barely touched the defense – trading down in the first round what seemed like 17 times to pick a center, and then stocking up on wide receivers while passing up first-round talent linebackers in the later rounds.

So, one of two things must be true: either 1) the media and fans have absolutely no clue, or insight into what Eric Mangini and Co. are doing and thinking, or 2) Eric Mangini and Co. have no idea themselves what they are doing.

And while it remains to be seen which one is true, the huge question at the center of it all remains the quarterback.  Even more to the point, the question that the Browns, the fans, and the media are all asking – and that will have arguably the biggest impact on the teams’ upcoming season – is this: who is Brady Quinn?

Unfortunately, nobody knows.  He looked serviceable in his first appearance (albeit, on drive) two seasons ago against he 49′ers.  He then put together a nice game, and then a pretty ineffective game in the following season before breaking his finger.  In none of those appearances did he look like a world-beater – and nothing close to the dynamic passer we saw at Notre Dame.  He has been criticized for not throwing deep (or not being able to throw deep), which doesn’t make much sense to me as throwing deep was an area he excelled at in college.  We know he can command the huddle, and we know he can run an offence.  He is a born leader.  I frequently say that Brady isn’t a football player as much as he “IS” a quarterback.  To me, he was born to play the position.  He has the prototypical size and I believe he has a strong arm.  He has all the leadership qualities as well as all the intangibles that can make a good player great.

But to be a good player you have to play.  Hell, to be a bad player, you have to play.  And up to this point, Brady simply hasn’t played.  As of right now, he is in the middle of a quarterback competition with a guy that nobody wants even after a pro-bowl season.  Also, Quinn was passed up by basically everybody in the league in the first round before Cleveland shot back up to snag him.

Were all the public musings of Mangini’s indifference to Quinn a smokescreen?  Are they dead-set on him, making the open competition nothing but theater?  Did Randy Lerner make the decision for the coaches after the public reacted so negatively to the idea of trading Quinn?  The problem is these questions will probably never be answered because Eric Mangini subscribes to the philosophy that the least amount of information the fans and media have is the best amount.  The federal government leaks more than the facility in Berea (okay, that is a weak analogy).

For my money, Brady is the guy and always has been.  Give him 16 games.  Let him mature and weather the ups and downs of the NFL season.  This is the guy that’s going to lead your team in the future.  I know this for no other reason than because you have no other options.  The fans will riot and set fire to the streets the second Derek Anderson steps on the field.  For whatever reason, Anderson has become the most hated athlete in the city.  You know your playing days in Cleveland are over once the fans cheer your injury – just ask Tim Couch.

At some point Brady will be named the starter.  And when he lines up under center and sees the Minnesota Vikings defense across the field in that first regular season game, we’re going to get to see who Brady Quinn really is.

Then after the Browns go 2 and 14 because the team as a whole is absolutely horrid – we’ll really see who he is.

I  guess, if nothing else, we can look at it this way: what we do know is that Brady looks pretty damn good shirtless while riding a white horse.  And after that Cavs/Magic series, I guess that’s all we can hope for.

What happened to the Cavs?

Once thought to be a lock for the NBA Finals (see: a previous blog entry of mine), they now find themselves on the brink of elimination at the hands of the Orlando Magic.  Once believed to be the best defensive team in the league, Cleveland now finds it appropriate to double off of some of the best 3-point shooters in the league (i.e. Rashard Lewis, Hedo “Turkey-Glue”) only to find themselves running helplessly toward them just in time to see the ball leave their hands on its way to the bottom of the net.  They have brought back the “oh-lay” defense of the vaunted Ricky Davis and Darius Miles teams of yesteryear, and allow bit players like Mickael Pietris look like Michael freaking Jordan.

So, I ask again: what happened to the Cavs?

Sadly, I don’t have the answer.  If I had to guess, I would say they are afraid of the big stage.  Remember, most players from the improbable run to the NBA Finals two years ago have left or are relegated to garbage minutes and spend most of the time warming Mike Brown’s bench.  LeBron and Z are the only two starters left that garner significant playing time: which means LeBron is the only player left from that Cinderella team that got out-classed by the San Antonio Spurs.  Sorry everyone, but Z is ready for the glue factory.  The Cavs better start looking for a new big man capable of holding his own in the post on offense and ready to body-up physical centers on defense.  There’s no way they get past the Orlando Magic without one.

Mo Williams looks scared.  Ever since he took that elbow to the dome he looks like a fifth grader who just got his lunch money stolen.  Delonte West is trying his hardest, but his skill will only take him so far – he’s a nice player, but the more I see of him, the more I’m convinced that he’s more than likely a very good back-up.  The highest paid player on the team (making $14 million a year), Ben Wallace, is playing serviceably as a defensive stopper, but has done something to put himself in the wasteland that is Mike Brown’s third rotation.

And Anderson Verajao.

Anderson is a great, great energy player.  When the team is executing the offense, he looks like a superstar.  He is one of the only Cavaliers that can cut to the basket and will regularly make LeBron’s passes looks like they came from Magic Johnson.  The only problem is that he’s a ridiculous spaz.  When the game is on the line, he can be counted on like clockwork to make at least one boneheaded foul (or non-foul as the case may be), jack up an ugly 15 foot jump shot, or mishandle the ball and give the opponents a nice fast break opportunity.  Verejao is looking more and more like a very good backup, as well.  He is not a prime-time player.

The Cavs need prime-time players.  Türkoğlu will be a free agent this off-season.  Does anyone think he’ll play as lights out as he is now in wine and gold?  I don’t.  What player can come in and fix this team? – because I think it is overly apparent now that they are still at least one piece away.  A bigger shooting guard – a physical center – a offensively efficient power forward.  The Cavs need all of these things and they need them all to play lock down man-to-man and overall team defense.

Speaking briefly on the defense: it’s a mess.  The Magic run the same variation of the pick-and-roll almost every play, or they throw it down to Dwight Howard, wait for him to get doubled, and toss it out to an open man for a wide open three.  It isn’t rocket-science.  I don’t have the answer on how to stop it, but then again I don’t get paid $1 million plus to scheme NBA defenses.

All I can think of is LeBron.  Poor guy has the weight of the most depressed city in the country (except for maybe Detroit) on his back, only to find himself on the brink of failure because of things that are completely out of his hands.  Namely, players pooping themselves once they get a face full of the bright lights that are the Eastern Conference Finals.

Also, just to be fair: holding the ball, or dribbling incessantly at the top of the key for 19 of the first 24 seconds of the shot clock, breaks the offense, LeBron.  Run the offense that got you here.  Please, run the offense.

It’s too bad that LeBron James seems to be the only one on a supposed “championship calibur team” willing to actually fight the Magic to keep his lunch money.

Here’s hoping for a miracle comeback.

Go Cavs.

WITNESS