Just for the sake of clarity: the above picture is one of Tony Horton, not me. Just to clear that up.
In the days following the night of my engagement, I came to the horrifying realization that a wedding would inevitably be followed up by a honeymoon. Honeymoons are typically spent in tropical environments, I’m told – with much of the time spent without a shirt. It is during these times that your new wife/husband will want to take a few pictures so you can look back on these happy moments and see how much fun you had forever, and ever, and ever, and ever. Which is exactly how long those pictures will last.
It was this thought, coupled with my bathroom mirror, that made me realize I needed to get in shape.
With the last meaningful exercise ending the second my feet hit the sand on my final long jump the week after I graduated high school, it would be accurate to say trying to be fit again was going to take a significant commitment. I had tried going running, but the weather was cooling down and the prospect of running in sub 15 degree temperatures wasn’t appealing. Appealing even less was the idea of paying $40 a month for a gym membership that would be used once a week at the most – and as I’m sure many people already know, spending money on a gym alone does not a good body make.
So, after waking up before 11 AM on the weekends, as I’ve been known to do recently, I stumbled upon a ridiculous infomercial for a series of workout DVD’s called P9ox. While it seemed like being interested in the product was in and of itself getting scammed (infomercials just feel dirty), I eventually got interested enough to seek out the DVD’s (I got them for free – while I didn’t do this, rumor has it, they can be found at many local libraries – or on the Internet – that’s just what I’ve heard). With my new fiance telling me she was really pumped to see me do my week of P7x and then quit, I committed myself to doing it, and low and behold, 90 days later I had done the entire “classic” workout.
Well, for the most part.
P90x is a six day-a-week workout schedule, coupled with an intense, comprehensive diet plan (which I didn’t even attempt to follow). Various workouts target specific muscle groups. Namely, core/abs, legs, biceps, triceps, chest, and back (with a little shoulder work sprinkled in). The workouts are done at near break-neck speed and are comprised of a variety of moves. But, just to clarify, I’ve provided a quick key to help you figure out how the workouts are done:
Chest workout = push-ups. Back workout = pull-ups. Arm workout = weighted curls/weighted “kickbacks.” Leg workout = squats/jumps. And abs, well…
Do this for 90 days and you’ll be ripped - or so the infomercials would have you believe. So, 90 days later, am I ripped? Quite honestly, the answer to that would be no. But I have seen results of which I have never seen in my life. I may be in the best shape of my life (I was in pretty good shape at various points in high school) and I feel as good as I ever have. I have a little bit of abs where I’ve never had abs before – a little bit of muscle in my arms that I’ve never had before – muscle in my chest and back that I’ve never had before – and my legs feel as strong as they ever have. The best part is, these results are done in your own home with the aid of virtually no equipment. All you need is a pull-up bar ($30 at Target) and some dumbbells. There’s really no other way to put it: while you may not see the results that you see on the infomercial, there’s really no way around it. You will see significant results if you do the 90 day program. You will lose weight, you will gain muscle. There’s really no way not to.
The trick is sticking with it. The workouts are hard. They aren’t nearly impossible and if you’ve played any sport in your life you’ll find that there isn’t a workout that is any harder than your hardest basketball, football, or track practice. For older folks who’ve haven’t worked out in 10+ years, I’d guess starting this program would be a little bit of a shock to your body – but it’s possible. The video’s provide you with variations of each workout that allow people of different ability levels to modify so they aren’t expected to do plyometric push-ups in week 1. Each day lends itself to a workout totaling about an hour. As they say, “keep pushing play” and the rest will take care of itself.
I think what allowed me to keep going and really enjoy the workouts was the wit and wisdom of the lead trainer, Tony Horton. First, the guy is yolked (as any fitness DVD personality would be – see above). But in addition to that, he’s endlessly watchable, entertaining, and full of tips, tricks, and encouragement. I’ve found from reading around the Internet that many find him incredibly annoying – I guess that’s why they let you mute his audio track. But I love it. All his stupid one-liners, all his accents, his douchey bragging and showing off – I love it all. To see someone so excited and jacked to be fit and to be so committed to it, is honestly kind of inspiring. It’s hokey, but it’s true.
The best recommendation I can give is this: after finishing my first 90 days, I’m genuinely excited to start again. Since I didn’t take before-and-after pics, I guess I have an obligation to go through again to document my results. But my first 90 results are undeniable and real – and anyone committed to do the program can do the same. When I’m done with the second go-through (I’ll finish around the beginning of May) I’ll try to suppress my feelings of douchey-ness and post the pics. Or maybe not.
Full Disclosure: I didn’t follow the diet plan or even try to. I tried to eat better, but the dollar menu at Wendy’s can get the best of you sometimes. I’m really hunkering down on my diet the second go-around. We’ll see how that goes. Also, one day of the week, the workout is a 90 minute yoga exercise. It might have been my favorite workout. Only problem is, I literally never did it. The hour and a half time commitment is just too much, to say nothing of the fact that yoga is ridiculously hard. I’ve already come to terms with the fact that I won’t allow myself to skip it when I do the program again – at least not all of it.
Also, I think it goes without saying, but there are a lot of bogus P90x reviews on the web, so for anyone that doesn’t know me or who I am: I AM NOT A BEACHBODY COACH.
Check back in 90 or so days and I’ll let you know how it all went. But if you’re even kind of interested in the program, you should absolutely try it.
